my meditation journey
Life brings us challenges that are meant for us to experience in order to remember who we truly are.
For most of my life from middle school to my early 40s, I obsessively thought about the fact (or what I believed to be “fact”) that I should and need to fix, change, and improve myself in order to be loveable. Wow.
I’m tingling now in reaction to how I view my past and current sufferings – my perspective is far different now at age 45 than it would have been! What changed? The transformative tools in my journey to remember who I am are meditation and individual coaching.
In 2017, I met a guru, healer, and divine sister, Bethany Joy. She guided and supported me for 4 years. Her coaching and sharing of supportive tools combined with my commitment and passion for self-exploration. That led me here - to opening my own meditation coaching practice. I’d say that’s a fun adventure!
Before experiencing a meditation practice, I was anxious, angry, sad, loving, empathetic,
and bad at communicating as evidenced by my perception of my relationships. I felt like a yo-yo experiencing a multitude of feelings across a spectrum in a day. My outer self portrayed a sunny side to the outside. My inner created self (ego) was suffering at the words of an internal bully – me.
I “shoulded” myself numerous times an hour and often subconsciously. At other times, I would said it out loud – “I should exercise more. I should eat less Nutella.” You get the picture, right? Can you relate?
When my mind noticed my negative self-talk, I felt ashamed.
I am a fortunate human born into modern times to a family with means, now grown with a career, home, husband, and two kids. It is the DREAM. Why was I unhappy? Didn’t I have everything? I didn’t have self-love.
The feeling of shame was accompanied by fear – constantly fearing I would mess up (in the eyes of another), thus proving my unloveability.
I was suffering. I knew I was missing something.
Then I said “yes” to a meditation class offered by Bethany. My perspectives, thoughts, and feelings didn’t change quickly. My suffering continued, lessened, and resolved a bit at a time. I evolved a consistent, daily meditation practice.
I can now say that my life, my reality inside myself is completely different.
I have shifted dramatically over 4 years. I am connected to my dreams, my life’s purpose, my heart, my soul, and Spirit in a deep sense that I didn’t expect - only hoped for. I realized that I don’t need judgment (goodbye inner critic!), fear, and detachment to stay loveable and keep me safe from outside hurt. Those ways served their purpose in the past. I thank them and release them. Today, I feel free, empowered, loved, protected, and cherished from the depth of my soul. The Divine within me re-members who I truly am. I am present with the gift of daily meditation through which I remember my own divinity and unique gifts that I offer the world.
you’re invited
Join me in one of my classes. I will teach and support you in establishing a meditation practice, and continuing your journey toward self-love, self-acceptance, and connection with the Earth, the Universe, and the collective consciousness of humanity and the Divine.
Believe in yourself and your worthiness to seek support in your life.
you’re invited
Join me in one of my classes. I will teach and support you in establishing a meditation practice, and continuing your journey toward self-love, self-acceptance, and connection with the Earth, the Universe, and the collective consciousness of humanity and the Divine.
Believe in yourself and your worthiness to seek support in your life.
stories i have told myself about me
The stories we tell ourselves about ourselves… I’ve heard some doozies in my head! Like when my house is messy, I am unloveable. But the truth is, I invalidate myself. A big LIE that I’ve told myself for years. Three decades, really. That is a long time! At some point, I created the BIG lie – the one that would guide me and override my intuition. The one that looked out for abandonment and was filled with fear and shame. For a long while, I thought that was my story. Under it was the root lie, the BIG original lie.
“I am unloveable.”
“I am wrong.”
“I am not good enough.”
Through coaching, I developed a commitment to myself, a commitment embodied by my meditation practice. I have cleared and released negative beliefs and false stories about myself. I have grown a loving and accepting relationship with myself.
“I am free.”
“I am consciously choosing my life.”
“I am peaceful.”
I have accepted my past and have a renewed agency in my life.
We all are worthy of connecting to our essential selves.
“There is only one way to transform your life and that’s to love yourself. The more you love yourself the more powerful you become because you don’t need anything outside of yourself. Find love, belonging, and acceptance inside of you.”
- Panache Desai
“There is only
one way to
transform your
life and that’s
to love yourself.
The more you
love yourself the
more powerful
you become
because you don’t
need anything
outside of yourself.
Find love, belonging,
and acceptance
inside of you.”
- Panache Desai
let’s chat
It is a BIG DEAL that you are here!
You are worth the investment in yourself.